Let's talk and keep Him in focus

Amen and what a glorious redemption it will be, especially with our new glorifed bodies!!

cwood85 and Joecool, I will pray for both of you, and anyone else feeling this way....for strength, endurance, clarity and hope.

Rick thank you for your prayers brother! Soon very soon amigo

I read this a couple of days ago and it just encouraged me:

Psalm 18:1-2
I will love You, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

First time I've seen this thread. 

Me and you are SO MUCH alike! Every word of what you have written, this is how I also have been feeling. And I do think it is the enemy attacking. And like you said, there is no one to "blame" or "point fingers at". Because it is all of us. And this is of course...  because we all have sin. 

When I first found this place, I seriously was like...  Oh. My. Goodness. I think I have found the closest thing to Heaven on earth that exists. For the past 3-4 weeks though, not so much. I've been praying the exact same things as you. I think that part of it is simple disappointment. No matter what we tell our brains logically and reason out in our heads...  just that so many thought that "This is it", meaning Rapture. And then, exactly "it" didn't happen. 

Because of the way the world is already, makes it the disappointment that much worse. The powers and principalities of spiritual evil are HERE upon the earth. I see it in everything and everyone (even myself). We are ALL impacted by it. And if it impacts us who follow Christ this badly...  just think how bad it is for those who don't know him. For me anyway, I see it so clearly! Just in leaving my house I am 100% sure to come across evil, nasty, selfish (could go on with the adjectives forever) people. 

I see it in my own employer. I ended coming back home this morning. This is because we all have a breaking point, and this morning she reached mine. Now, I LOVE her. And I LOVE her little boy the same as if he were my own. Because of that there are so many issues that happen, and I think that "mom" doesn't like that her now very verbal and not a baby anymore 2 year old...  that he prefers "Tiffy" over "Mommy". I know, this is because since he was born Monday-Friday, and sometimes on weekends also...  I spend upwards of 12 hours a day with this child. Mom and Dad...  they first had marital issues, then separated but are not divorced and back and forth for over a year now. Dad moved to Illinois to do a fellowship and now comes home 1 weekend per month; left Mom holding the bag when it comes to her son and when it comes to everything. And she, she is in love with her husband and spends most of her time complaining about him, thinking about him, running after him, then arguing with him. When not doing that, she goes shopping after work, or to the gym, or does whatever she wants...  comes home whenever she feels like it, and spends almost ZERO time with her son. Then she gets upset because son prefers nanny. 

In addition, she doesn't want to pay Nanny (me). Nanny could make WAY MORE money if she wanted but she chooses to stay with family because she has a big heart and cares very much for said family. A year and 1/2 ago, Nanny agreed to a temporary wage cut (one that has not ended being temporary). And now, Nanny has been told that she really doesn't do much and should not be paid for all of her hours worked when she spent the night caring for 2 year old son while Mom went on a trip. Because, nanny wasn't doing anything but "sleeping" (NOT). 

So nanny, being newly internet forum savvy...  goes online; and gets an earful about how she makes no where near enough money. Not only that, but should be paid for all the drop offs/pick ups/running around. And the overnights. And the overtime. And should get paid time off/vacation time. And what she is making hourly is no where near what she should be. And so nanny has been stressed out; trying to think of a way to bring this up, ask for a fair wage for her overnights spent; and also for her day to day work (which I do, not for the money, but because I LOVE what I do)! At the same time though, I have my own husband, my own children, my own life (which family nanny works for absolutely does not understand and expects nanny to jump through hoops on command; and all for literal peanuts it turns out). 

I was late this morning because I could not find my keys. I did text that I had lost my keys, then texted again when I found them and was leaving. Well, on my way to work, Mom calls. And I don't know if she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or what happened...  but I said hello and was then reamed up one side and down the other. And so...  and old me without Jesus would have laid into this woman and give back x10 what I had received. But instead, just that one of the greatest things Jesus has done for me, is give me something I never had until I started following Him; that thing being self respect. I am a temple of The Holy Spirit and He doesn't want me to allow myself to be treated in such ways. Nor does He want me to give back x10 in nastiness what I receive from "the world". And so, I calmly told Mom that I was turning around and going home, that I was sorry but I did not intentionally lose my keys, but since this has caused such anger for her and is completely unacceptable for her, that she should probably look for a new nanny. Because "this one" will not allow herself to be treated in such a disrespectful way. 

Mom was still yelling at me (she is from India and was high class there so they sometimes don't treat the help very well; that and the "I know everything because I am a medical doctor" mentality, of which, was a nurse so used to that). And so I said, ok then. Bye, and I hung up. We will see what happens lol! I do love that little boy and I feel so bad for him because his parents do not realize the blessing from God that he is. But I'm at a point in my life to where I'm just not going to tolerate being treated like that. And we are so blessed in that I no longer have to work but do because I love what I do. Things would be tighter money wise with me not working, but by no means unmanageable. If she doesn't realize her error...  not going to argue with her... or yell at her...   or engage in all that drama like I used to. It is what it is and I'll take a vacation, then find another position. 

So...  yeah. I don't know what it is lately. But it's like the world has fallen off it's hinges. With everything and everyone. A big clue, for me...  to run straight into the Arms of My Father, spend time in Him, in His Word, and in prayer. Fortunately, I don't belong to the world.

tiffanybw

I am saddened by the end of your situation. It was definitely be heartbreaking on the child that his tiffy isn't around anymore. But I am proud of you for being strong and calmly standing up for yourself.
I had an excellent Nanny when my son was young. She would take him from 4-5pm until 10am the following day on the days that I worked. Amd we had a good arrangement. Sometimes I paid her more, sometimes less. But it was always a decent sum of money for feeding him two meals a day and bathing and putting him to bed in her own house. When I met my husband, and no longer had need of her, it was hard on my two year old son to not see her as much. It was even harder when 6 months later, she moved completely across the country. We've always kept in touch, and she has moved back closer now, but he has also grown up and doesn't have that need for a close relationship like he did when he was young. He sometimes sends her a message on my Facebook.
But back to keeping Him in focus:
I had two jobs and 4 volunteer jobs this summer. I was too busy to focus on Him. It was hard, and He helped be to let go of one job and step back from two volunteer positions so that I could focus on him more. The money coming in isn't fantastic, but he is allowing us to make enough to meet our needs. He also helped us out in a situation where my husband needed to buy new dress shirts yesterday but their payment system was down. Instead of spending $340 for 4, we ended up at another store where a similar shirt was on sale and we bought 6 for $140. I told my husband that God must have had a hand that, of course he was silent and didn't respond.
I am also thankful that he is Jehovah Jireh. My husband is employed in local politics and the elections were held on Monday. Thankfully, God has provided him with employment for the next four years. (Hence the need for some new dress shirts- we were putting off purchasing new work clothes for him until after the election). Through God providing employment for my Husband, I am able to rest in Him and know that our needs are met. And I am so thankful that He has provided me the opportunity to work in my Church. I have been sick all week and yet I am still able to get my work done on time for Sunday. I have been able to rest, spend time praying, spend a day with my husband shopping and rest some more.
I'm off to go rest some more before I have to get dressed and pick my kids up from school for their afternoon activities.

I am another weary one. Thank you for your prayers, Rick. I have a hard time continuing in everything. Full time work, dad of 7, husband, home-owner, church member, and visionary. Supporting my family on security officer's wages is almost impossible. My health makes me unqualified for most jobs, and many of the ones I could physically handle, I don't have the background, education, or experience for. If our Lord doesn't come back pretty soon, I need a new job, and a health transplant. Praying about both and looking into possibilities. My family and I would appreciate everybody's prayers who can take a moment to pray for us.

Tiffany and Sawdy, praying for you just now.