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Post by afterdarkness on Oct 15, 2018 10:25:11 GMT -6
There are a couple of these, please bear with me.
1: I have a narcissistic ex-spouse. I would like to have peace from him. Six hundred miles apparently isn’t enough.
I do not want to reconcile and I’d be happy never to have to see or hear from him again but we have kids together.
I am so tired. I still believe many of the things he’s said of me, try as I might. I don’t know if fire falling from heaven would be enough to shut him up., or to silence all the lies he has sown in me.
May God require it of him, everything he’s put me to. I am so tired.
2: I moved away from my home five years ago, friends, roots, etc. I am looking for opportunity to move back. Pray for wisdom, for opportunity, etc.
3: Pray for provision for us while we remain in the body.
I lurk and watch for updates on the site, but rarely post.
Thank you for your time.
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Post by gkp on Oct 15, 2018 11:16:06 GMT -6
Will certainly keep you in prayer. I mentioned your post to my daughter. She would be a good contact with helpful ideas, God bless and keep you and your family safe.
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Post by hopeful on Oct 15, 2018 11:48:44 GMT -6
afterdarkness, I wish I could give you a big hug and some chocolate chip cookies. What a tough time.
Stephanie Dawn, who writes some of the articles on Unsealed, is part of a wonderful Christian women's group on Facebook. I joined a couple weeks ago or so, and like many of the members, I think about the women there who are struggling and pray for them throughout the day, share my thoughts, and appreciate all the beautiful posts. Definitely improves my FB news feed!
If you're interested in joining I'd be happy to pm you a link. Hang in there, sweetie!
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Post by mike on Oct 15, 2018 12:22:52 GMT -6
hopeful - i could go for the cookies! afterdarkness - I can relate to point #1. Only my former spouse lives 2 miles from me. One thing I came to realize is I can only control my decisions and my reactions. I digress...God showed me these things while I was astray. Even though I was living a very heathen like life, He did not abandon me, but taught me through the hardships I suffered and at times still continue to be reminded. My former is very verbally abusive and controlling. When what she wants doesn't manifest, tantrums erupt and I am the subject of that. While my first thought is that I cannot stand this person and am happy to be apart from her, I remember (rather am reminded by the Holy Spirit) that we all offend (HIM), typically every day so who am I to throw the first stone. So when things get to a point of anger and/or frustration I reluctantly begin to pray. Not because I am better than she is, but because He has mercy on me and I should extend that to her. Even if that doesnt help her or change the situation, I am called by Him to do what He says and not react to her. I am tested on this often!  I paraphrase the below in my head as "treat everyone as you want to be treated" but reading this regularly helps me too. I will pray for you as well dear sister. DO NOT believe the lies the enemy tells you through your former spouse. Consider him a victim of Satan's devices and pray for him. Matt 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Matt 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
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Post by stormyknight on Oct 15, 2018 13:31:56 GMT -6
afterdarkness, will be praying for you. I totally agree with mike. Pray for your ex. It does wonders for your own Spirit. I'm not in the same boat, but I pray for my spouse often, cuz she's always wrong...(just kidding!!!!!!). No really I do pray for her all the time. As of today, we've been married 35 years and I know that that is kind of rare these days. I've got a co-worker though... for a long time I could not stand being around him, but the more I prayed, the better things got. Our Heavenly Father works some amazing miracles, even in the smallest ways.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2018 14:56:44 GMT -6
Praying for you and your family Afterdarkness. God is bigger and loves you very much.
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Post by afterdarkness on Oct 16, 2018 13:27:19 GMT -6
Thank you all. Got to figure out how/what to pray again. It’s like learning over sometimes.
Blessings!
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Post by mike on Oct 16, 2018 13:36:32 GMT -6
Thank you all. Got to figure out how/what to pray again. It’s like learning over sometimes. Blessings! I often remind myself what I wretch I am without Him and begin to try to see the other person in that light as well. Realizing he or she could be or is completely lost. I ask God to forgive me for harboring ill in my heart, then ask for Him to lead that person to Himself. Now please dont consider this aspect as vindictive but when you ask the Lord to bring someone to Himself, He often puts difficulty in their life to move that person to 'repentance'. Repentance would mean changing their mind about the way they see a certain thing, such as salvation in general. Someone who doesnt believe the need for Christ repents (changes their mind) and accepts the truth that He is the only way to the Father. So that difficulty or challenge in that persons life may happen by grand design from Heaven. The praying is more for your heart sister. the outcome will be one more soul won for Christ |
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Post by boraddict on Oct 22, 2018 17:22:55 GMT -6
There are a couple of these, please bear with me. 1: I have a narcissistic ex-spouse. I would like to have peace from him. Six hundred miles apparently isn’t enough. I do not want to reconcile and I’d be happy never to have to see or hear from him again but we have kids together. I am so tired. I still believe many of the things he’s said of me, try as I might. I don’t know if fire falling from heaven would be enough to shut him up., or to silence all the lies he has sown in me. May God require it of him, everything he’s put me to. I am so tired. 2: I moved away from my home five years ago, friends, roots, etc. I am looking for opportunity to move back. Pray for wisdom, for opportunity, etc. 3: Pray for provision for us while we remain in the body. I lurk and watch for updates on the site, but rarely post. Thank you for your time. Wow! This is powerful. In my opinion, peace comes from your commitment to Lord Jesus. Thus, in a marriage, peace comes from your husband's commitment to Lord Jesus. Sometimes it is hard to make that commitment. Consequently, the non-committed take their spouse and children on a roller coaster ride. Like "today I am committed to Christ, and tomorrow I am not." Often the spouse is lonely because they are committed to Christ; alone. It is then that the evil one breaks down the faithful and uses them for cannon fodder. Do not be used! Remain faithful to Christ always! Your spouse should build you up against the evil one. If he does not, then protect your testimony in Christ first and foremost. Do not let it be torn away from you. Please be at peace. Pray often. Stay firm in your testimony and protect it. God bless you afterdarkness. Your reward is not far away now as we who love Christ await his return. Stay with Christ, and if you slip away, come back quickly to his loving arms. |
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Post by afterdarkness on Oct 29, 2018 14:10:05 GMT -6
Thank you for the encouragement. Thank you all.
For me, peace has been to let go of what happens between us, to let go of what happens to him whether good or ill. To wish neither good nor ill toward him. I have seen people heal to the point that they begin to regard their abuser with kindness and to pray good things for them. That is not my season. If that part grows back I don’t feel one way or the other about it. It would be more like me though.
I do not say that I wish ill for him. I don’t have it in me to spend emotional capital on him, in prayer or otherwise. I don’t have it in me to wrestle with God over this. All I want is to be allowed to forget the man exists. Anything else, I just don’t have it in me. I have children who need those things from me. I will not give the children’s bread to dogs.
If in the meantime it makes me sound hard or recalcitrant or whatever, it isn’t my intent, and I know that I too will answer for what I have done while in the body.
I don’t pretend my coping skills are A+. Some days, I do just lay down and hurt. I look for healing, but not really in this life... then again, it isn’t for me to think about. Some of us are called to lay down what we carry, some to bear a while longer. I don’t know which this is. Sometimes we don’t know, and we should glorify God that he has hidden it from us. It is not difficult to worship or to trust that he is good. It is just... rivers. Floods.
That is the season right now.
Thank you again for your kindness, your prayers.
Grace and peace
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Post by Joecool on Oct 30, 2018 6:29:32 GMT -6
I am reminded of
Romans 5:3-5
3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;
4 and perseverance,character; and character, hope.
5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Sometimes God knocks us on our backs so we will look up. Also struggle produces strength like when we go workout and if we don't struggle when lifting weights we are probably not getting stronger. While we may not appreciate the struggles at the time, if we continually trust in God and unceasingly pray God will ALWAYS bring us through, usually stronger and better. If nothing else hopefully our struggles will bring us closer to Him, which is all that really matters in the end.
Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
So always remember the pain/problems of this life are temporary while the coming Glory will be eternal!!
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