Post by jlr1701 on Oct 5, 2017 22:54:17 GMT -6
Hey everybody,
I have decided to set aside tonight for seeking God. As some of you know, I was a very angry atheist for 17 years, and I only recently came back to faith in Christ, thanks in large part to this site. God has done so many amazing things to prove Himself to me yet... I still struggle with doubt and unbelief that steals my joy. I wish I had the kind of strong and confident faith that most of you seem to enjoy, but my reality right now is that my head battles with my heart all day long. Yes, I feel the presence of God and yes God's Word is coming alive to me like never before. Yet, somehow, this stuff just doesn't feel REAL to me. I know that sounds crazy, but it's the truth. I read sites such as this and I watch videos over on YouTube on the Revelation 12 sign and about how close the return of Christ appears to be, and my heart agrees and gets excited, but my mind scoffs and refuses to rejoice with my heart. And I have to wonder... how much more evidence and proof could my mind possibly need? God has been overwhelming me with evidence and even proof that He is actually real and that His Word really is true!
Maybe I just don't spend enough time with God. I don't have much of a prayer life going yet. I don't know if my almost 52 year old body can do an all-nighter or not, but I'm going to try. I don't have anything major that I have to do tomorrow, so if I'm exhausted, it will be okay. I can deal with it. I will have to be quiet about it because I am a full time caregiver for my father, and he will be sleeping, but my plan right now is to spend the night seeking God -- praying, reading His Word, and reading some wonderful books I have on my reading list right now. And I would really appreciate your prayers for me. I am sick and tired of being plagued with this joy-killing doubt! Doubt that shouldn't even exist, but yet it does... I need a faith-building breakthrough from God! Thanks.
Jeff
I have decided to set aside tonight for seeking God. As some of you know, I was a very angry atheist for 17 years, and I only recently came back to faith in Christ, thanks in large part to this site. God has done so many amazing things to prove Himself to me yet... I still struggle with doubt and unbelief that steals my joy. I wish I had the kind of strong and confident faith that most of you seem to enjoy, but my reality right now is that my head battles with my heart all day long. Yes, I feel the presence of God and yes God's Word is coming alive to me like never before. Yet, somehow, this stuff just doesn't feel REAL to me. I know that sounds crazy, but it's the truth. I read sites such as this and I watch videos over on YouTube on the Revelation 12 sign and about how close the return of Christ appears to be, and my heart agrees and gets excited, but my mind scoffs and refuses to rejoice with my heart. And I have to wonder... how much more evidence and proof could my mind possibly need? God has been overwhelming me with evidence and even proof that He is actually real and that His Word really is true!
Maybe I just don't spend enough time with God. I don't have much of a prayer life going yet. I don't know if my almost 52 year old body can do an all-nighter or not, but I'm going to try. I don't have anything major that I have to do tomorrow, so if I'm exhausted, it will be okay. I can deal with it. I will have to be quiet about it because I am a full time caregiver for my father, and he will be sleeping, but my plan right now is to spend the night seeking God -- praying, reading His Word, and reading some wonderful books I have on my reading list right now. And I would really appreciate your prayers for me. I am sick and tired of being plagued with this joy-killing doubt! Doubt that shouldn't even exist, but yet it does... I need a faith-building breakthrough from God! Thanks.
Jeff
