I was part of the Great Apostasy...
Sept 11, 2017 10:01:17 GMT -6
watchmanjim, whatif, and 8 more like this
Post by jlr1701 on Sept 11, 2017 10:01:17 GMT -6
Hi everybody,
I found this site recently, and the hope I had in Christ years ago has been restored. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all, and it doesn't seem real that we are living in the last of the Last Days and that Jesus could be returning soon. Let me explain why...
I was saved in a small Baptist church way back in 1985 at the age of 19. I came to Christ through the influence of a good Christian friend named Mike and after attending a showing of "The Jesus Film" at the Baptist church in Brazoria, TX. Once I gave my heart to Christ, the transformation from troubled teenage party animal to sold out to Jesus Christian believer was pretty dramatic! My faith lasted for about 15 years, but it was a rocky journey. It turns out that I have bipolar disorder (the less severe Type 2), which was not diagnosed until 1998, when I was 32. I spent 15 years of my life swinging between periods of devout Christian belief when I was more on the manic side of things and periods of doubt and unbelief and usually severe substance abuse when I was more on the depressed side of things. But that issue aside, I had doubts and questions about the Bible and the Christian faith build up for years that I never found any good Christian answers to. In early 2000, things came to a head, and I got on the Net as it was back then and went looking for answers. I found answers that satisfied me at the time from the source I least expected it -- atheists. After reading several of their sites, I became convinced that God didn't actually exist and that the Bible was mostly just ancient religious mythology, and that it was riddled with contradictions, atrocities, and absurdities. In light of modern scientific knowledge, the Genesis creation accounts seemed silly to me. And on the atheist sites, I read about how the Flood had never actually happened, the Exodus never happened, the Patriarchs probably never existed, most of the history depicted in the Old Testament was known to be bad, and a whole bunch of other stuff as well that in my mind completely discredited the Bible.
In 2002, I decided to jump into the fray with my own atheist website. I will refrain from posting the name of the site because it contains profanity, and it's been gone since 2004 anyway. But when I decided to do that site, I was seriously mentally ill and I was also VERY ANGRY! The loss of my Christian faith was extremely painful! So, anyway... I spent a couple of years posting angry anti-religious rants and ridiculing the beliefs I had once held sacred. I became quite popular among many fellow ex-Christian atheist friends as "Brother Jeff." I had plenty to say about God and Jesus that was very angry and very nasty, for which I am ashamed now. But the reality is that I spent about 15 years of my life after I lost my faith as an outspoken atheist. My popularity waned drastically after I shut down my original site, and I did that because I was feeling very bad about how I was characterizing Christians on my site and I didn't much like the person I had become. But, though my audience had dwindled from a bunch of fellow atheists to a few occasional visitors, I continued to post my angry thoughts on other sites, and I am ashamed to say now that I used Facebook for several years to angrily bash the Bible and the Christian faith. It's no wonder that I lost many friends over the course of several years, and to my shame that includes my band directors from high school and Jr. high school (husband & wife). They were my friends online for a while, but they got tired of my constant rants against their faith, and I'm sure they didn't like the angry person I had become as an adult.
My life has not been easy. I've struggled with mental illness for many years, and my job history reflects that. I haven't worked since 2004, but my job history prior to that is loaded with low-wage, dead-end jobs and I have never been able to make it through school.
All of that said, I am doing much better these days. My mental health is stable and it has been for quite a while. And I do have God to thank for that! It's been several months ago, but He totally delivered me from all of festering anger and rage I had inside of me for years! I wasn't expecting this to happen and I didn't ask for it, but it sure got my attention!! Other lesser events have gotten my attention too... and then I found this site through a friend on Facebook. She posted an article that I didn't give much credence too at the time, but I remembered the site, and a few days ago I started reading. I am still wondering if all of this stuff is really for real or not. Jesus actually did rise from the dead? The Bible is really true? Jesus could come back during my lifetime? It's a lot for this former angry atheist to wrap his head around! But everything happening in the world today seems to confirm it! And I was even a part of the great apostasy... but I'm happy to say that I am back as a Christian believer. I have asked God to forgive me for everything I said and did against Him for so many years. I know God has forgiven me and cast my sin as far as the east is from the west. Given my history and my behavior, I may not have to many rewards in Heaven coming. I'll just be very happy to be there at all...
I am going to stick around and continue reading and learning and trying to digest all of this information and everything that is happening. I know that no man knows the day or the hour, but it sure seems like the return of Christ could be very soon indeed...
Just a quick note that for some reason I can't post using Blogger on the main site. I can post using Facebook, but I'm not sure anyone reads those comments!
But at any rate, I wanted to share my story, so the forums seemed like a good place to do it. And I chose this section because I am an apostate returning to the faith. Hard to believe something prophesied so long ago applied directly to me... Wow. What I have shared is a greatly abbreviated version of 30 years or so of my life, but I hope it gives you some idea of what I have been through over the years...
Jeff
I found this site recently, and the hope I had in Christ years ago has been restored. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all, and it doesn't seem real that we are living in the last of the Last Days and that Jesus could be returning soon. Let me explain why...
I was saved in a small Baptist church way back in 1985 at the age of 19. I came to Christ through the influence of a good Christian friend named Mike and after attending a showing of "The Jesus Film" at the Baptist church in Brazoria, TX. Once I gave my heart to Christ, the transformation from troubled teenage party animal to sold out to Jesus Christian believer was pretty dramatic! My faith lasted for about 15 years, but it was a rocky journey. It turns out that I have bipolar disorder (the less severe Type 2), which was not diagnosed until 1998, when I was 32. I spent 15 years of my life swinging between periods of devout Christian belief when I was more on the manic side of things and periods of doubt and unbelief and usually severe substance abuse when I was more on the depressed side of things. But that issue aside, I had doubts and questions about the Bible and the Christian faith build up for years that I never found any good Christian answers to. In early 2000, things came to a head, and I got on the Net as it was back then and went looking for answers. I found answers that satisfied me at the time from the source I least expected it -- atheists. After reading several of their sites, I became convinced that God didn't actually exist and that the Bible was mostly just ancient religious mythology, and that it was riddled with contradictions, atrocities, and absurdities. In light of modern scientific knowledge, the Genesis creation accounts seemed silly to me. And on the atheist sites, I read about how the Flood had never actually happened, the Exodus never happened, the Patriarchs probably never existed, most of the history depicted in the Old Testament was known to be bad, and a whole bunch of other stuff as well that in my mind completely discredited the Bible.
In 2002, I decided to jump into the fray with my own atheist website. I will refrain from posting the name of the site because it contains profanity, and it's been gone since 2004 anyway. But when I decided to do that site, I was seriously mentally ill and I was also VERY ANGRY! The loss of my Christian faith was extremely painful! So, anyway... I spent a couple of years posting angry anti-religious rants and ridiculing the beliefs I had once held sacred. I became quite popular among many fellow ex-Christian atheist friends as "Brother Jeff." I had plenty to say about God and Jesus that was very angry and very nasty, for which I am ashamed now. But the reality is that I spent about 15 years of my life after I lost my faith as an outspoken atheist. My popularity waned drastically after I shut down my original site, and I did that because I was feeling very bad about how I was characterizing Christians on my site and I didn't much like the person I had become. But, though my audience had dwindled from a bunch of fellow atheists to a few occasional visitors, I continued to post my angry thoughts on other sites, and I am ashamed to say now that I used Facebook for several years to angrily bash the Bible and the Christian faith. It's no wonder that I lost many friends over the course of several years, and to my shame that includes my band directors from high school and Jr. high school (husband & wife). They were my friends online for a while, but they got tired of my constant rants against their faith, and I'm sure they didn't like the angry person I had become as an adult.
My life has not been easy. I've struggled with mental illness for many years, and my job history reflects that. I haven't worked since 2004, but my job history prior to that is loaded with low-wage, dead-end jobs and I have never been able to make it through school.
All of that said, I am doing much better these days. My mental health is stable and it has been for quite a while. And I do have God to thank for that! It's been several months ago, but He totally delivered me from all of festering anger and rage I had inside of me for years! I wasn't expecting this to happen and I didn't ask for it, but it sure got my attention!! Other lesser events have gotten my attention too... and then I found this site through a friend on Facebook. She posted an article that I didn't give much credence too at the time, but I remembered the site, and a few days ago I started reading. I am still wondering if all of this stuff is really for real or not. Jesus actually did rise from the dead? The Bible is really true? Jesus could come back during my lifetime? It's a lot for this former angry atheist to wrap his head around! But everything happening in the world today seems to confirm it! And I was even a part of the great apostasy... but I'm happy to say that I am back as a Christian believer. I have asked God to forgive me for everything I said and did against Him for so many years. I know God has forgiven me and cast my sin as far as the east is from the west. Given my history and my behavior, I may not have to many rewards in Heaven coming. I'll just be very happy to be there at all...
I am going to stick around and continue reading and learning and trying to digest all of this information and everything that is happening. I know that no man knows the day or the hour, but it sure seems like the return of Christ could be very soon indeed...
Just a quick note that for some reason I can't post using Blogger on the main site. I can post using Facebook, but I'm not sure anyone reads those comments!
But at any rate, I wanted to share my story, so the forums seemed like a good place to do it. And I chose this section because I am an apostate returning to the faith. Hard to believe something prophesied so long ago applied directly to me... Wow. What I have shared is a greatly abbreviated version of 30 years or so of my life, but I hope it gives you some idea of what I have been through over the years...
Jeff