Post by stormyknight on Aug 31, 2018 10:26:20 GMT -6
18-24 year olds may have the highest statistics of suicide, but it is my belief that the body of Christ, while having the protection and guidance of Jesus, is still the most 'at risk' groups on earth. Satan would like so much to derail us on our path. We may think we're doing ok, God is on our side, and all that, but, it only takes seconds, in certain circumstances, to make and act on a bad thought. I confess that I, myself, have had terminal thoughts in the past. I still get down and drag my mind through the muck of life. This 'waiting for Jesus' is not easy, as I'm sure you all know. At times it gets almost unbearable. We must pray for each other for the strength to keep going.
At the time I'm writing this, I'm at somewhat of a crossroads in my and my wife's life. My Dad is 90 and still lives on his farm. We live on my Grandpa's farm, which my Dad lets us live on with the condition that we take care of it. I have eight other siblings. The only real property we own is the vehicles we drive. We have no savings. I have retirement through my job, but I'm 55. We don't know what's going to happen when my Dad passes away. He's in good health, but who knows, it could be tomorrow, it could be five to ten years from now. My job, while it has excellent benefits and good wage, is a deadend and not very fulfilling. My wife and I take care of our grandson during the day while our second daughter works. My wife takes most of the day and I take over after I get off so she can go to work. Consequently, this takes up our day and doesn't leave much time for us at home. Please don't take this wrong, I'm not complaining. I know we are "OK". But, something will be changing soon. Whether it be my Dad passing away and we may have to move or Jesus returns shortly. Do you see my dilemma? How does one plan for the future in this scenario? I feel like we've looked at every possible avenue to get out or possible start over. Every time we do something that will put extra money in our pocket, something happens that drains it almost immediately. There are numerous other details that I have left out that would make this post a small novel. I don't know what to do anymore and frankly it makes getting out of bed extremely difficult. Sometimes my wife and I sit in silence driving to work (30 miles) not knowing what to do anymore. It seems she has tears in her eyes constantly, but it's "nothing".
I'm sorry. This started out as a warning that we need to pray for each other, but turned in to a cry for help. I don't know what anyone could do for us except pray. I only wish Jesus was a little clearer on where/what He wants us to go/do. Maybe this post should be in the Prayer Chain, but it has everything to do with Spiritual Warfare. And just because we put on the Armor of God, doesn't mean we don't get wounded now and then.